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Can abusive men change?

Yes they can, but statistically, they do not very often. This is because abusive men face very few consequences for their behaviour. By staying abusive, they continue to have power and control. They get their way all the time. Usually these men leave a wake of destruction behind them as they go from one relationship […]

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Women are blamed for abuse

Have you ever noticed that women are often blamed for the abuse they experience at the hands of their partners – sometimes subtly and sometimes not so subtly. Here are some statements made to or about women who have experienced abuse. Each statement carries a value judgment and implies that the woman who is abused […]

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Aren’t women abusive too?

Aren’t men just “too ashamed” to report abuse? Some people think that abuse happens to men at the same rate as women but they are “too ashamed” to report it. Here’s the thing, women are ashamed to report it too. The women we work with are extremely reluctant to call abuse abuse. Women are silenced […]

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Why we have to take sides when it comes to abuse:

If we remain neutral in the face of abuse, we are helping the abuser. Our silence is what he wants. Abuse continues because it works for abusive men, they get their way with no consequences. None of us would stand back and remain “neutral” while a grown man beat up a child but this is […]

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Five important things to know about men who are abusive…

#5: An abusive man will work hard to “win” family and friends over to “his” side. I really wish everyone knew this! I have walked alongside MANY women who have lost most of their friends and sometimes most of their family because family and friends choose to believe the man and distance themselves from the […]

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Five important things to know about men who are abusive…

#4: An abusive man will say his wife is “crazy”. It is important to know that abusive men will often say that their partners are “crazy”. This is a powerful way to discredit a woman and add to her isolation. If everyone knew that this was a common tactic of abusive men and were skeptical […]

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Five important things to know about men who are abusive…

#3: An abusive man will accuse his partner of being abusive. In the experience of the women we work with, most abusive men will say that their partner is abusive. This gets confusing for friends and family standing outside of the relationship. It is interesting that most women are very hesitant to use the word […]

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When Love Hurts