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When Love Hurts: A women's guide to understanding abuse in relationships

Love is meant to be supportive

What happens when you are hurt by the one you love? Women have many questions about their relationship and are discouraged by the lack of support and information they receive from family and friends.

“This is an excellent resource not only for women to use on their own but also for counselors and advocates.”

by Dr. Mary Russell Professor of Social Work, University of British Columbia, Canada

We wrote When Love Hurts to answer some questions and help women make sense of their relationship. Some common questions women ask:

Am I experiencing abuse?
Why does my partner hurt me?
Why do I stay?
Will my children be abusive?
Is there something wrong with me?
How do I heal from the abuse?

Maggie’s Story:

I didn’t see myself as an abused woman. The only images I had came from television. I thought of abused women as weak, quiet and less educated – women who were battered and bruised. That wasn’t who I was at all. And my partner certainly didn’t fit my image of an abusive husband. I thought they were wild and out of control – men who drank too much, were brutal and hateful. My partner’s behaviour was confusing. I saw him being kind and pleasant to our friends and family. He was often loving to me, and I loved him. But he got angry so easily; and when he was angry, he was hurtful. Since his hurtful behaviour was always directed at me, I believed I was the cause of the abuse. Maggie.


In 2016 Danielle Smith, with Newstalk 770 on the AM dial, interviewed us about our 3rd edition...
The When Love Hurts team was recently on What She Said and we had a great time with Kate Wheeler...
Our interview with Allison Dore and Arthur Simeon on Ward and Al...
We were so excited at the opportunity to be interviewed this morning on the national CTV morning show. The 3rd edition of When Love Hurts was launched last week...
Have you ever thought, “if I could just say the ‘right’ thing to my partner, then he would finally ‘get it’, understand and change?” Have you ever wondered if somehow you could make your relationship better if you just had the right combination of words… or tone of voice… or proper explanation? Abusive men often […]
If asked, most counsellors will say that they have training in abuse but it is not part of the standard curriculum for most counselling programs. So, how can you figure out if your counsellor really does understand abuse or simply thinks they understand? Here are a few things you could look for: Do they hold […]
When Love Hurts