Supporting Women

Instead of asking, “why doesn’t she leave?” ask, “why doesn’t he stop?”

Often when people are trying to understand woman abuse, the first question they ask is, “why doesn’t she leave?” This is a faulty starting point. The point really is why does he continue to be abusive and why does society, in subtle and not so subtle ways, allow the abuse to continue?

Don’t ask, “what is wrong with this woman?” Ask, “what has happened to this woman?”

When helping professionals focus on “what is wrong” with a woman who has experienced abuse, they miss the point entirely and usually do more damage to the woman. We see this often. Women who have been impacted by abuse are seen to have something wrong with them because they are anxious or depressed or self-medicating…

Rape in Marriage

Diana Russell’s (1990) landmark study of sexual assault established that marital rape is a serious problem that millions of women face each year. Researchers estimate that between 10% and 14% of married women experience rape in marriage. When researchers have examined the prevalence of different types of rape, they have found that marital rape accounts for approximately 25% of all rapes (Randall&Haskall, 1995).