If we remain neutral in the face of abuse, we are helping the abuser. Our silence is what he wants. Abuse continues because it works for abusive men, they get their way with no consequences. None of us would stand back and remain “neutral” while a grown man beat up a child but this is what we do if we remain “neutral” when there is abuse: we are allowing a person with power to hurt a powerless person.
The motive behind abuse is to have power and control over the other person. Women who come to our support group are often fearful that they are abusive. This is because they have yelled at, swore at or hit their partners. When we ask women to recall the context in which they behaved this way,…
Over the years, many women have said to me that on their wedding day they knew they were making a huge mistake. Societal pressure to go ahead with the wedding once the invitations have been sent is huge. Some women confide in a friend or family member about their fears but are often told they…
Check list: Am I experiencing? Do you feel anxious when you are around him? Does he put your down or criticize you? Do you feel disrespected by your partner / boyfriend? Are you afraid to give your opinion or express a concern to your partner? Is your partner jealous and/or possesive of you.
An abusive relationship may include some of these experiences. There are many other warning signs of abuse that we have not included here. Whatever you are experiencing, if you are unhappy with what’s going on, we hope you will read more of this website and / or watch our videos.
In our support groups, stories are central. The group is a safe place for women to talk about what is happening or has happened in their lives. For many women, the group is the only place they can talk about these things. We see how, by getting to tell the stories of their lives, women…
In 2015 it is very hard to cut off contact with an abusive ex. Facebook can be one of many links that keep you in touch with him. Even if you “unfriend” him, you may find his face popping up on other friends’ feed. Or you might hear about things he is doing through other…
As helping professional we all have good intentions when it comes to supporting women who have experienced abuse. But if we don’t have specific training in this area, we can unintentionally end up harming a woman. Let me share one example of what I mean by this. One counsellor advised a woman that she needed…
