When Love Hurts Reflections, News and Resources
Reflections from a four-decade journey working toward a safer and more respectful world for women and children.
About The Book
Holding space for painful realities
One of the dynamics of abuse is that abusive men take away all the good choices for women so they are only left with bad choices.
One woman’s description of navigating family court
One woman’s poetic description of navigating the horrors of Family Court.
When Love Hurts Certified Training for Helping Professionals
If you have seen the value of the When Love Hurts book in the lives of the women you support, you will want to take this opportunity to learn how you can apply the When Love Hurts model, framework and tools in your group or individual work with women who have experienced abuse from a partner.
Survivors need to be given a choice not an ultimatum
Sometimes friends and family give women, who have experienced abuse, ultimatums. For example, “If you move back in with him, I won’t talk to you anymore.” Often when friends and family do this, they think that they are doing some version of “tough love”. Perhaps they are not doing a good job of managing their…
A comment from a reader:
I received this book when I was in a women’s shelter after my ex was arrested for the second time for abusing me. This book has helped me so much in understanding what is happening to me and why. This book helped me realize I am not alone, what was happening was “normal” for abusive…
Thank you from a reader…
I want to thank you for helping to provide clarity on such a taboo, and rarely discussed, issue. You have a tremendous knack of being the steel fist in the velvet glove. You name abuse for what it is, though you also do so graciously, understanding that for many women the problem – as well…
Missions Fest this weekend
I will be at Missions Fest this weekend presenting the When Love Hurts material. I’ll be at a table called “RESPECT Society for Women” (P11). If you plan to be at Missions Fest, stop by and say hi. I will be there today (Friday) from noon to 4:30, Saturday 6:30 to 9:30 and Sunday 1:30…
Truth and Reconciliation Commission in Vancouver!
This is a special post for people who live int he Vancouver area…. Have you heard about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC)? It begins this Wednesday. This is a historic event that our family has been looking forward to for months. I am frustrated that there seems to be little about this in the…
Self-care as opposed to self-esteem
I blogged yesterday about focusing on self-care instead of self-esteem. A woman from group recently talked to me about this. Her quote (used with permission) really says it all… “I liked how the group focused on self-care and not self-esteem. I was always judged for ‘letting’ the abuse happen to me because of my ‘low…
Thoughts about “self-esteem” and “self-care”
It drives us crazy how some people suggest to women who are experiencing abused that they should work on their “self-esteem” and that somehow, this should stop the abuse. It won’t. Nothing the woman does will stop the abuse. Only the abusive person can stop the abuse. But even after separation some people think that…
How do we respond to the shooting in Connecticut?
The shooting that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut is beyond imagination – beyond any nightmare our brains could make up. I found myself yesterday turning off the radio and deliberately avoiding any news on the TV. Simply put, I did not want to know. I did not want to know the details….