Updates
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How women resist abuse
Many people believe victims of domestic abuse do not do enough to free themselves from the abuse. They wrongly believe that women impacted by abuse passively accept the violence or lack assertiveness or are somehow “damaged” in such a way that they “accept” the abuse as “normal”. Nothing could be further from the truth. When…
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How do we respond to the shooting in Connecticut?
The shooting that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut is beyond imagination – beyond any nightmare our brains could make up. I found myself yesterday turning off the radio and deliberately avoiding any news on the TV. Simply put, I did not want to know. I did not want to know the details….
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A woman’s memory is her best ally
For a woman who has experienced abuse from her partner, her memory of the abuse is an important guide for her as she moves forward. What he has done in the past, he is likely to do in the future. Surviving life with an abusive man often means mentally putting abusive episodes to the side…
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Impact of Abuse
In this video Jill continues to explore the impact of abuse – confusion, feeling all alone and feeling crazy are all very common experiences for women living with abusive men.
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What’s the difference between “normal conflict” and “abuse” in a relationship?
1) With abuse, the conflict will seem to be more about your partner trying to win the argument or hurt you with his words instead of him genuinely trying to constructively work out a problem. 2) With abuse, you will notice that your partner is thinking almost exclusively about what is good for him, not…
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1 out of 2 girls growing up in Canada will be physically or sexually abused
A powerful public service announcement from the Canadian Women’s Foundation: http://www.
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The Impact of Verbal Abuse:
A very powerful video about the impact of verbal abuse. Helena Bonham Carter lends her voice to this public service announcement:
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Abuse can happen to anyone. True or False?
This post is from ShamelessSurvivors.com: It doesn’t start off with a punch in the face or a knock down fight. It is a gradual desensitization. Pushing the limit just a little each time. A comment here. Criticism disguised as concern for you. Teasing in the uncomfortable zone. Testing you to see where the resistance is,…
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Abuse and Power
Abuse happens when there is an imbalance of power. It is impossible to understand abuse – when it happens and how it happens – without an examination of power. Sometimes the women I work with have done things they are ashamed of in their relationship. They have slapped their partner across the face or thrown…
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Did you know that sometimes “professional help” is not helpful?
Helping professional are well intentioned but sometimes for women experiencing abuse, that help is not helpful. In fact, sadly, sometimes the ‘help’ is harmful to women. How is this possible? Well, let’s think about the dynamics of abuse. Men who are abusive are motivated by a desire to have power and control over their partner….
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Have you ever thought, “If my partner hit me, I would leave”?
Have you ever thought, “If my partner hit me, I would leave”? We wonder if this is true. We know that women don’t find abuse acceptable, but a simple equation of abuse = leave ignores the complexity of most women’s lives. It is easy for a person to say this if they have never been…
