Here are the “16 Steps” developed by Charlotte Kasl. They are an alternative to the “12 Steps” of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Many women find them more helpful. The 12 Steps of AA were developed by men and for men. The 16 Steps were developed by women for women. 16 Steps We affirm we have the…
If you have found a treatment program that is a good match for you as you seek support we do not want to say anything that would undermine that support. But if you have tried a treatment program, that is based on the 12 Steps, and you have found yourself uncomfortable with parts of it….
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As we approach mid month, it is important to consider that one in four women will experience partner violence in their lifetime. Terrorized in their own home, ridiculed for their opinions, or forbidden to buy a cup of coffee: these are some of the scenarios that Jill Cory and…
We hear the theory that if a woman was abused as a child she will think abuse is “normal” when she is an adult. This idea makes us crazy and here is why. If we suggest that because a woman was abused as a child, she thinks abuse is normal, we are suggesting that she…
Are you sometimes scared of your partner? Does he try to stop you from seeing family or friends? Has being with this person lowered how you feel about yourself? Are you worried about saying ‘no’ or expressing your opinion? All of these signs and more suggest that your partner is abusing you. Sometimes a man’s…
Friends, family and professionals often assume that women have some ability to stop abuse. Some people will suggest that a woman should just “stand up” to her partner and put out a clear “boundary”. (This is very likely to end in an assault of some kind.) Or women are told to be more accommodating and…
Many women who have experienced abuse have sought help through a variety of counselors. Sometimes counseling is helpful and sometimes it is not. At its worst, counseling or advice giving can be dangerous if it disconnects you with your voice, your wisdom and your experience. For example, one woman was told by her counselor to…
In this video Jill asks the question, “what is a normal reaction to living with abuse, power and control?” She touches on some normal mental and physical reactions such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks and headaches.
Welcome to the Video Series: When Love Hurts. In this video you will meet the authors – Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis. Hear about the experiences that have brought them to this work, their passion for serving women who have been abused, and their vision for this series.
Karen McAndless-Davis talks about how difficult it is to even consider if you are experiencing abuse. She also touches on the different forms of abuse: emotional, verbal, social, financial etc. This video is designed particularly for women who have experienced abuse.
It is incredibly difficult to decide to leave your partner. There are emotional considerations – you may still love him or feel a great deal of guilt about leaving. There are also practical matters – children, housing, finances. You might decide to leave after an explosion but then feel drawn back into the relationship by…