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The When Love Hurts blog

Connections between abuse, anxiety and depression

It is normal for a woman to experience some level of anxiety or depression if she is experiencing abuse from her partner. Often times women are seen to have some form of mental illness when they are actually just having a normal human reaction to oppression, hurt and crazy-making behaviour. One woman reported that she […]

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Cutting off contact with an abusive ex – Facebook

In 2015 it is very hard to cut off contact with an abusive ex. Facebook can be one of many links that keep you in touch with him. Even if you “unfriend” him, you may find his face popping up on other friends’ feed. Or you might hear about things he is doing through other […]

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New study reports one-third of mothers experience violence from spouses

A new study out of the UK followed over 1,000 mothers for 10 years. Among the findings: More than one-third reported suffering violence from their spouses. Those who suffered abuse were twice as likely to develop depression as women who were not experiencing abuse. The study cited is: “Intimate partner violence and new-onset depression” by […]

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That abusive ex that keeps texting you! Ideas and solutions

In 2015 it is very hard to cut off contact with an abusive ex. Many women report that their ex-partners will continue to verbally and emotionally abuse them, after separation, using texts. They will send threatening texts or crazy-making texts, texts that will have them feeling sorry for their ex-partner or texts that will make them […]

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Don’t “should” on a woman

When a woman has experienced abuse from an intimate partner, friends, family and helping professionals tend to be very free with their advice. Women get told they should try harder to make the relationship work. They should have better better boundaries. They should love their partners more or they should be patient and wait for […]

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Why I don’t ask people, “how are you?”

I avoid greeting people with, “how are you?” I work as a counsellor and so most of the people I am meeting cannot answer that question quickly or positively. How are they doing? It would take a full hour to say how they are doing and lots of what they have to say is painful […]

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Am I Being Abused?

Karen McAndless-Davis talks about how difficult it is to even consider if you are experiencing abuse. She also touches on the different forms of abuse: emotional, verbal, social, financial etc. This video is designed particularly for women who have experienced abuse.

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Check list: Am I experiencing?

Check list: Am I experiencing? Do you feel anxious when you are around him? Does he put your down or criticize you? Do you feel disrespected by your partner / boyfriend? Are you afraid to give your opinion or express a concern to your partner? Is your partner jealous and/or possesive of you.
An abusive relationship may include some of these experiences. There are many other warning signs of abuse that we have not included here. Whatever you are experiencing, if you are unhappy with what’s going on, we hope you will read more of this website and / or watch our videos.

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Women are blamed for abuse

Have you ever noticed that women are often blamed for the abuse they experience at the hands of their partners – sometimes subtly and sometimes not so subtly. Here are some statements made to or about women who have experienced abuse. Each statement carries a value judgment and implies that the woman who is abused […]

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How to identify abuse: #3 Motive

The motive behind abuse is to have power and control over the other person. Women who come to our support group are often fearful that they are abusive. This is because they have yelled at, swore at or hit their partners. When we ask women to recall the context in which they behaved this way, […]

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When Love Hurts