It is normal for a woman to experience some level of anxiety or depression if she is experiencing abuse from her partner. Often times women are seen to have some form of mental illness when they are actually just having a normal human reaction to oppression, hurt and crazy-making behaviour. One woman reported that she was on the maximum level of medication for anxiety and was still feeling anxious all the time. Her partner regularly commented on her “mental illness” and suggested that there was something wrong with her. She is now separated from him and not on any medication at all. She still feels anxious sometimes but notices the anxiety comes when she has to have contact with her ex because they share a child.
It is really hard to even consider if your partner might be abusive. A good question to ask is “am I afraid”? In a respectful, mutual relationship, two people can disagree – fight even – but neither party is afraid of being attacked (physically or emotionally).
Take a listen to this podcast. Karen McAndless-Davis is asked about the difference between poor communication and abuse. http://www.communicationdiva.com/25
Karen McAndless-Davis talks about how difficult it is to even consider if you are experiencing abuse. She also touches on the different forms of abuse: emotional, verbal, social, financial etc. This video is designed particularly for women who have experienced abuse.
I am sure you’ve heard it before. “It takes two to tango.” It’s a lie. If a person is actually talking about dancing, it may be true, but if they are talking about relationship problems, it is not true. It takes two people to make a healthy and happy relationship. It takes two people to be mature…
Five important things to know about men who are abusive…#2: An abusive man presents himself to family and friends as a “great guy”. As a society, we have this idea that abusive men are “monsters” but in reality abusive men present themselves in a very positive light. Most of the time they function in social settings very well. They can be charming and outgoing. Sometimes they will be very helpful to others and generous with their time. For this reason, it is extremely important that friends and family believe a woman when she takes the courageous step of saying that her partner is controlling, hurtful or abusive.
Women, especially Christian women, are often pressured to forgive their partners. I never understand the urgency around this. Sometimes I think church leaders want this to happen because they then think that everything will be “okay” and they can move on to other concerns but nothing is okay for the woman. It seems obvious that…