“I wish I had known sooner”: thoughts on our upcoming podcast
The When Love Hurts podcast will be for anyone who wants to know more about woman abuse and the long-ranging impacts in the lives of women and children.
Author: Karen McAndless-Davis
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Spring training event for therapists, transition house staff, advocates and other helping professionals
We are excited to open registration today for a special spring training event for therapists, transition house staff, advocates and other helping professionals.
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The Pandemic Trap
Hear Karen talk about the impacts of the COVID 19 on those living with abusive partners, strategies for coping, staying safe, accessing support, and how we can reach out and support each other. Audio Interview with author & trauma therapist, Karen McAndless-Davis, about the impacts of the COVID 19 pandemic on women living with abusive…
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Abuse can happen to any woman
Jill and I have led groups in diverse neighbourhoods and with women from diverse social and cultural backgrounds for many years. There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to abuse. People assume that abuse happens to certain types of women and not too other women. Nothing can be further from the truth. Abuse…
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“Mental Illness” or Abuse – Helping a Woman Discern the Difference
Sometimes women will say they believe their partner behaves the way he does because he has mental health concerns. Men who are abusive are sometimes diagnosed as having a personality disorder or of being bipolar. Men who are abusive may blame their hurtful behaviour on being depressed. This is very confusing for women; if their…
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Survivors need to be given a choice not an ultimatum
Sometimes friends and family give women, who have experienced abuse, ultimatums. For example, “If you move back in with him, I won’t talk to you anymore.” Often when friends and family do this, they think that they are doing some version of “tough love”. Perhaps they are not doing a good job of managing their…
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Stockholm Syndrome in the context of abuse?
Stockholm Syndrome was coined 40 years ago at the end of a six-day bank siege in Stockholm, Sweden. Sometimes women who are experiencing abuse from their partner wonder if they are experiencing Stockholm Syndrome because they feel a certain alliance with their partner. They may also be worried about their partner and care about what…
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What should we be able to expect in our relationships?
Sometimes women impacted by abuse wonder if their expectations are too high. In our experience this is not true. Rather, it seems that over time, abuse lowers a woman’s expectations. For example, she starts out expecting that her partner will respect her feelings but over time he does not and so she gradually lets go…
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His goal in couples counselling was to gain more control over me
We had been married 15 years. Things had been very hard for a long time. I knew there was something really wrong but I did not know what it was. I did what I think most women would do, I sought out couple’s counselling for us. I went to couple’s counselling hoping it would make…
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Struggling to find the “right” words so your partner will stop hurting you?
Have you ever thought, “if I could just say the ‘right’ thing to my partner, then he would finally ‘get it’, understand and change?” Have you ever wondered if somehow you could make your relationship better if you just had the right combination of words… or tone of voice… or proper explanation? Abusive men often…
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4 signs your counsellor might have training in abuse
If asked, most counsellors will say that they have training in abuse but it is not part of the standard curriculum for most counselling programs. So, how can you figure out if your counsellor really does understand abuse or simply thinks they understand? Here are a few things you could look for: Do they hold…
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Retired judge, Marie Corbett, felt ‘powerless’ over crime.
I just heard a great interview with Marie Corbett on CBC radio. She was a judge who felt powerless and so she retired in the hopes of bringing about change from outside the system. That is pretty remarkable – for a judge to feel powerless. Where does that leave one, individual woman, seeking justice in…
