An image of a dark and foreboding labyrinth.

We had been married 15 years. Things had been very hard for a long time. I knew there was something really wrong but I did not know what it was. I did what I think most women would do, I sought out couple’s counselling for us. I went to couple’s counselling hoping it would make our relationship better. I see now that my abusive husband went to couple’s counselling to try to gain more control over me. He went in to the sessions and totally woed the therapist. He played the part of a great husband and father. He told lie after lie about me. It was so shocking. Unfortunately, the therapist believed every word of it. He would tell some awful lie about me and the therapist would turn on me and shame me. I know now that it was his intention, from the start, to “win” the therapist to his side. It became two against one and everything went downhill from there. I know this is not everyone experience and I sure hope that other therapists would not be duped like this but I wanted to share my story with the hope that it might help someone else.

When Love Hurts Participant. 

5 thoughts on “His goal in couples counselling was to gain more control over me”

  1. Oh my gosh!!!! I can totally relate to this! Been there, done that, got the crappy t-shirt. What blew my mind was that a professional couldn’t see through the bullshit. I was the one that looked crazy when I had to walk out of the session because he didn’t believe me. I’m so glad I’m healing and can see why I kept picking abusers. I’ve been single and not dating for 3 years. I still have a long way to go yet. So much damage from childhood through to adulthood. The journey continues. :)

  2. Karen McAndless-Davis

    Thank you for your comment and for sharing some of your experience. We hope you will find other info on this site that speaks to your experience. Wishing you well on your journey!

  3. Yes, this happened to me several times with several counselors. I had to finally trust myself and stop believing the reality he was trying to recreate for me and everyone else and get out of there, even to lose close people who believed him too. They weren’t worth staying in an abusive relationship. The Lord rescued me from that nightmare! I was loving someone who was at on destroying me. I left bit because I wanted to but because I had to.

  4. Yes, this happened to me several times with several counselors. I had to finally trust myself and stop believing the reality he was trying to recreate for me and everyone else and get out of there, even to lose close people who believed him too. They weren’t worth staying in an abusive relationship. The Lord rescued me from that nightmare! I was loving someone who was set on destroying me. I left not because I wanted to but because I had to.

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