support people

Survivors need to be given a choice not an ultimatum

Survivors need to be given a choice not an ultimatum

Sometimes friends and family give women, who have experienced abuse, ultimatums. For example, “If you move back in with him, I won’t talk to you anymore.” Often when friends and family do this, they think that they are doing some version of “tough love”. Perhaps they are not doing a good job of managing their…

First do no harm

As helping professional we all have good intentions when it comes to supporting women who have experienced abuse. But if we don’t have specific training in this area, we can unintentionally end up harming a woman. Let me share one example of what I mean by this.  One counsellor advised a woman that she needed…

The Blame Game vs. the Consequences of His Actions

Abusive men blame their partners for everything. This is one of the hallmarks of abusiveness. They will blame their partners because their kids don’t want to see them. They will blame their partners for abandoning them. They will blame their partners for “destroying the family”. But really, the abusive man is just facing the consequences…