husbands and boyfriends

“Mental Illness” or Abuse – Helping a Woman Discern the Difference

“Mental Illness” or Abuse – Helping a Woman Discern the Difference

Sometimes women will say they believe their partner behaves the way he does because he has mental health concerns. Men who are abusive are sometimes diagnosed as having a personality disorder or of being bipolar. Men who are abusive may blame their hurtful behaviour on being depressed. This is very confusing for women; if their…

Does the Bible really say that the man is the “head” of the house?

In my second year of university, I went to a huge Christian youth conference in the states. I had a room mate who was from a fundamentalist Christian family. One night we got talking about relationships and she told me, “of course, the man is the head of the household.” I was shocked that such…

Instead of asking, “why doesn’t she leave?” ask, “why doesn’t he stop?”

Often when people are trying to understand woman abuse, the first question they ask is, “why doesn’t she leave?” This is a faulty starting point. The point really is why does he continue to be abusive and why does society, in subtle and not so subtle ways, allow the abuse to continue?

Rape in Marriage

Diana Russell’s (1990) landmark study of sexual assault established that marital rape is a serious problem that millions of women face each year. Researchers estimate that between 10% and 14% of married women experience rape in marriage. When researchers have examined the prevalence of different types of rape, they have found that marital rape accounts for approximately 25% of all rapes (Randall&Haskall, 1995).

Can abusive men change?

Yes they can, but statistically, they do not very often. This is because abusive men face very few consequences for their behaviour. By staying abusive, they continue to have power and control. They get their way all the time. Usually these men leave a wake of destruction behind them as they go from one relationship…

A Survivor’s Story

The abuse in my marriage began very early into the relationship although I was never able to identify it as abusive behaviour. Somehow, my husband would justify his behaviour and end up making me feel I was to blame for his actions. I would end up apologising to him when I had done nothing wrong…