4 signs your counsellor might have training in abuse

If asked, most counsellors will say that they have training in abuse but it is not part of the standard curriculum for most counselling programs. So, how can you figure out if your counsellor really does understand abuse or simply thinks they understand? Here are a few things you could look for:

  1. Do they hold your partner 100% responsible for the abuse or are they trying to get you to “fix the problems”?
  2. Do they know that there are many forms of abuse? Do they take all forms seriously?
  3. Do they know about the “Cycle of Abuse” (Honeymoon / Tension / Explosion)?
  4. Do they give you advice or tell you what to do?

If they don’t know these basics about abuse, chances are they do not have any specific training. If they are giving you advice or suggestions, they could make matters worse for you or more dangerous. You deserve really good, qualified support. Your local women’s shelter or transition house should know the names of counsellors or counselling programs in your community that are specifically for women who have experienced abuse from a partner.



2 thoughts on “4 signs your counsellor might have training in abuse”

  1. Catherine poole

    I am a single mother of a beautiful 14 year old girl who i absolutely adore. My heart breaks every day because she is abusing me. She hits me, pushes me, pinches, pulls hair. Tells me I am ugly and fat. Humiliates and demeans me. Treats me like her personal servant. There is zero respect. I am dying inside everyday, she is exactly like her father was. I am reliving the abuse over again and I can’t stop it. I have tried to be stronger and use methods to remedy the situation but I have lost control. I can’t even speak without being told to shut up. Finally after 2 years of begging her father for help he agreed to take her. I have sent her to the wolves den. He yells and name calls but there is no physical abuse. I am racked with guilt everyday. I worry about the person she will become or is becoming. Does she think I don’t love her. Will he perpetuate the situation. Of course he will. But she cannot come back until she can keep her hands to herself. She never thinks what she does is wrong. No accountability, no remorse (which scares me), she is cruel and mean and vengeful. She lies all the time. I am so worried about her. Like I said I feel so guilty. Why won’t she try to get along? Her life here was filled with love and support. She has little responsibility other than to do homework, she enjoys 6 dance classes a week and plays 5 instruments. She does not use drugs or drink. God is miss her…but not the abuse. I really hope I am doing the right thing

  2. Catherine,

    I am just seeing your post today, but I thought I would reply anyway. I wonder how that went for you, and how your daughter is feeling now?

    I have been trained with When Love Hurts and if you would like some counselling or support, I’d love to walk alongside you.

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