Abusive men have patterns to their behaviour. One of those patterns is that they tend to shift blame from themselves and on to others – particularly their partners. They hone their blame shifting skills to a very high level. For example, a man might blame his failure to live up to a responsibility (like picking the kids up from school) on his partner’s failure to remind him. But if she does remind him, he may say that she is a “nag”. If the man has neglected or been hurtful to his kids, the kids may not want a lot to do with him but he is not likely to take responsibility for this. Instead he will blame his partner for “turning the kids against him”. A man will say he yells and swears when “she pushes his buttons”. One woman in our group was taking about all the ways her partner avoids responsibility and blames her for all his problems. In her frustration she said, “these guys are blame shifting Ninjas!” I loved the quote and asked if I could share it here and so I have.