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“Forgive and Forget”?

Where does that expression “forgive and forget” come from and is it from the Bible? No! There is no place in the Bible where it says “forgive and forget”. I don’t know where the saying originates, but I can tell you with complete confidence, it does not come from the Bible.

If you have experienced abuse and have tried to “forgive and forget” or been told by someone that you should “forgive and forget” that has probably not felt okay with you and that is because it is not okay.

If you have been the victim of abuse or violence, it would be quite psychologically unhealthy to forget that. It’s wise, in fact, to remember danger and risk. If someone has seriously harmed you in the past, it is quite possible that they will harm you again. Remembering is part of what keeps you safe. Also, it is impossible to forget serious injury or harm so why waste valuable emotional energy trying to forget?

There may come a time when you do want to forgive your partner or ex-partner. (Read the blog: When is the “right time” for forgiveness?) But even if you choose to forgive, forgiving does not need to mean forgetting. You can forgive a person and not forget what they have done. Neither does forgiveness mean that you need to reconcile with that person. You can forgive someone and also decide that the person is not a safe person and so you need to stay away from them

 

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When Love Hurts