It is not about forgiveness when everything is broken

A woman shared these thoughts about forgiveness in the context of abuse. I would like to share them with you.

My husband has been abusive to me for years. His behaviour has caused unimaginable destruction in my life. Every once in a while, he will say, “I’m sorry. Forgive me.” Those words seem ridiculous to me. It is like if someone broke in to my home and totally trashed the place – broke everything that was important to me – and then stood in the middle of the mess and said, “Sorry. Forgive me.” Really! That would be crazy! If someone did trash my home in that way, I would need them to really take an account of all they had broken. Then I would need them to replace and fix everything that they broke. Then, they would need to show me, over time, that they would never do such a horrible thing again. Then, maybe I could forgive them.

My life is my home and he has trashed it. But he will never admit to all the harm he has done and he will never do anything to make things right. In fact, he is going to just keep on trashing it. 

(This blog is part of a series on forgiveness. If you appreciate it, you might like to read the rest of the series by searching “forgiveness”.)