Many women who have been abused are afraid of anger. This makes sense. Their partner’s anger has been very damaging to them. Sometimes women are not sure what to do about their own anger. It seems to me that anger can have many faces. Sometimes anger can be about protecting ourselves or someone else. If anyone tried to hurt my child, I would get angry. Similarly if someone is trying to hurt us, it is normal and healthy to be angry about that. Anger lets us know when we are being treated unfairly.
Although anger is often an uncomfortable emotion, it can serve an important purpose. It is like our emotional “immune system”. If we are feeling angry, it is probably because something is not okay. Paying attention to our anger can help protect us from harm. It can also fuel us to do something we need to do. For example, sometimes a woman has to tap into her anger at the injustice of how she is being treated to help her have the strength to walk in to a lawyer’s office.