I blogged yesterday about focusing on self-care instead of self-esteem. A woman from group recently talked to me about this. Her quote (used with permission) really says it all…
“I liked how the group focused on self-care and not self-esteem. I was always judged for ‘letting’ the abuse happen to me because of my ‘low self-esteem’ or ‘lack of confidence’. When the leader said abuse is not about self-esteem I just felt this heavy load fall off my shoulders.”
Abuse has a pattern. It is not an isolated event. In any long-term intimate relationships, both parties will have moments of being thoughtless, or even hurtful to the other. But an abusive person has a pattern of repeatedly doing hurtful and controlling things over and over again. The intention is to create fear and confusion…
December is the darkest month of the year in Canada. Where I live, it starts getting dark at about 4:00 in the afternoon. It can be depressing and discouraging. A doctor friend of my joked that this time of year, we should put anti-depressants in the water like some cities put flouride in the water….
If you are reading this blog we don’t think you are in denial. If you are reading this blog you are thinking critically about your relationship and searching for answers. That is not denial. Women who are living with abusive men sometimes get accused of being in denial but we don’t think that is what…
This is a special post for people who live int he Vancouver area…. Have you heard about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC)? It begins this Wednesday. This is a historic event that our family has been looking forward to for months. I am frustrated that there seems to be little about this in the…
A wonderful woman name Darla recently celebrated her birthday. Instead of people bringing gifts to her party, she invited people to buy copies of When Love Hurts so they could be placed in libraries in the Greater Vancouver Area. Enough money was raised to buy 70 books! Her motivation was simple: she wants as many…
This past week was the end of another amazing support group here in the Vancouver area. At the close of the evening, women shared what the 10 weeks had meant to them. They talked about the power of being listened to, respected and affirmed. They spoke of how wonderful it was to be in a…
