I blogged yesterday about focusing on self-care instead of self-esteem. A woman from group recently talked to me about this. Her quote (used with permission) really says it all…
“I liked how the group focused on self-care and not self-esteem. I was always judged for ‘letting’ the abuse happen to me because of my ‘low self-esteem’ or ‘lack of confidence’. When the leader said abuse is not about self-esteem I just felt this heavy load fall off my shoulders.”
#1: An abusive man functions well in the world. As a society, we tend to believe abusive men fit a stereotype – they are unemployed and/or drunks. In reality abusive men usually function very well in society. They hold down jobs, own homes and most often relate comfortably with family and friends. If we think…
Where does that expression “forgive and forget” come from and is it from the Bible? No! There is no place in the Bible where it says “forgive and forget”. I don’t know where the saying originates, but I can tell you with complete confidence, it does not come from the Bible. If you have experienced…
The women I work with, who have experienced abuse, are not selfish. In fact they are most often caring and compassionate people who focus a great deal of attention on their children and others. Sometimes, if they are still with their partner, they also pay a lot of attention to him and try to make…
Every fall we start When Love Hurts support groups in the Vancouver area. If you know a woman who might appreciate the support and care of this group please give her the below info. The group is for any woman who has experienced any form of abuse (verbal, emotional, spiritual, social, sexual, physical etc.) There is…
This video explores the Cycle of Abuse. This is the behaviour pattern of an abusive man. Karen describes the three phases of the Cycle of Abuse: Honeymoon, Tension Building and Explosion. This video will help those seeking to support women who have been abused as well as women themselves.
If you have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) we would like to help you think about what that might mean for you in the context of living with or having lived with an abusive man. We are finding the diagnosis of BPD being widely applied to women who have experienced abuse. What is…