1#: Will he respect your “no”? Abusive men like to be in control and so one way for women to protect themselves is to see how a man reacts to her “no”. If she does not want to go to the restaurant he suggests, she can say “no” and suggest another. If he wants to engage in a sexual act that does not feel comfortable to her, she can say “no” and see what happens (if this is safe to do). The question for the woman is, does the man respect her “no” and back off or does he get angry or try to manipulate her into agreeing with him.