#3: Does he speak negatively of his ex-partner? If a man says that his ex-partner is crazy or abusive, be cautious. Abusive men always say this about their ex-partners. To their own detriment women often believe a man when he says this about his ex. It is often only years later that the woman learns the truth, that the man was abusive with his first partner. My advice to women would be to be skeptical of this “crazy” or “abusive” label when it is attached to an ex-partner. And remember, the woman may now appear to be “crazy” or “abusive” because she is still dealing with the impact of the man’s abuse but it is important for a woman to remain critical in her own mind and gather her own evidence about who, in fact, is controlling and hurtful.