#4: An abusive man will say his wife is “crazy”. It is important to know that abusive men will often say that their partners are “crazy”. This is a powerful way to discredit a woman and add to her isolation. If everyone knew that this was a common tactic of abusive men and were skeptical when a woman was labeled “crazy” or “mentally ill” women could be spared a lot of pain and heartache. (Come back tomorrow for #5.)
Abusive men have patterns to their behaviour. One of those patterns is that they tend to shift blame from themselves and on to others – particularly their partners. They hone their blame shifting skills to a very high level. For example, a man might blame his failure to live up to a responsibility (like picking…
We used this reading last night at the end of our support group. It was written by a colleague of mine (Elsie Wiebe-Klinger). I think it says a lot about the truth about abuse. It’s not that… I think that abusive behavior is ‘normal’ or that I’m attracted to abusive men, Rather, When abuse happens,…
I was abused by my husband for the entirety of our 12 year relationship. It took me 12 years to put a name to this crazy behaviour, because this abuse did not take the form of physical blows. It started off subtly with mindgames, teasing. He found it funny to see me get upset, so…
#5: An abusive man will work hard to “win” family and friends over to “his” side. I really wish everyone knew this! I have walked alongside MANY women who have lost most of their friends and sometimes most of their family because family and friends choose to believe the man and distance themselves from the…
Have you ever noticed that women are often blamed for the abuse they experience at the hands of their partners – sometimes subtly and sometimes not so subtly. Here are some statements made to or about women who have experienced abuse. Each statement carries a value judgment and implies that the woman who is abused…
If we remain neutral in the face of abuse, we are helping the abuser. Our silence is what he wants. Abuse continues because it works for abusive men, they get their way with no consequences. None of us would stand back and remain “neutral” while a grown man beat up a child but this is…