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The When Love Hurts blog

What does the Bible really say about forgiveness?

Women who have experienced abuse are often plagued with the idea that they should forgive the person who has abused them. Sometimes it is the abusive person is pushing for this, sometimes it is friends, family or church leaders, and sometimes the woman feels like it is the “right” thing to do. Some Christian women […]

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Why are women pressured to forgive their abuser?

Women, especially Christian women, are often pressured to forgive their partners. I never understand the urgency around this. Sometimes I think church leaders want this to happen because they then think that everything will be “okay” and they can move on to other concerns but nothing is okay for the woman. It seems obvious that […]

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When is the “right time” for forgiveness

When women are experiencing on-going abuse, forgiveness is not the issue. Safety is. A woman needs to focus on trying to keep herself and her children safe. Even after separation, forgiveness is not the issue. Typically women continue to experience abuse from an ex-partner. Just because she has left does not mean that the abuse […]

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When is the wrong time for forgiveness

Women who have experienced abuse are often pressured to forgive their partners. When they feel unable to do this, they sometimes think there is something “wrong” with them or that they are not good people. But lots of times forgiveness is not the right or appropriate thing to do in a given situation.If the man […]

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A Survivor’s Story

As I share my story of resilience with you, I will include the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual aspects as it pertains to me. My hope in writing my story is that the victim of abuse will not feel alone in her journey and that she can know that she can reach up and successfully […]

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Stories of abuse and survival

In this audio recording, Karen and three survivors of abuse talk about the reality and impact of abuse in marriage. The speakers touch on some of the different types of abuse – verbal, emotional, financial, and spiritual. They speak to the devastating impact that abuse has on the lives of women and their children. This […]

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Abuse Breaks the Covenant of Marriage

So often Christian women stay longer, in abusive relationships, than non-Christian women. This is usually because they believe that they have vowed to stay “until death do us part”. But abuse breaks the covenant of marriage. The man has vowed to “love, honour and cherish” and his abuse has broken that vow. The marriage is over, […]

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When Love Hurts