#1 Make her safety (emotional and physical) the priority. Don’t do anything without her explicit permission. Without meaning to, you could make the situation worse or put her at risk for harm. Ask her what you can do that would be helpful to her. Being a listening ear is very helpful and may be all…
Many women find it hard to imagine that their partners are abusing them. Part of the struggle has to do with the negative stereotype our society has of ‘battered women’ and ‘abusive men’. If neither you nor your partner fit the stereotype, it may be difficult to imagine that you’re actually being abused. Women who…
We hear the theory that if a woman was abused as a child she will think abuse is “normal” when she is an adult. This idea makes us crazy and here is why. If we suggest that because a woman was abused as a child, she thinks abuse is normal, we are suggesting that she…
Are you sometimes scared of your partner? Does he try to stop you from seeing family or friends? Has being with this person lowered how you feel about yourself? Are you worried about saying ‘no’ or expressing your opinion? All of these signs and more suggest that your partner is abusing you. Sometimes a man’s…
Friends, family and professionals often assume that women have some ability to stop abuse. Some people will suggest that a woman should just “stand up” to her partner and put out a clear “boundary”. (This is very likely to end in an assault of some kind.) Or women are told to be more accommodating and…
In this video Jill asks the question, “what is a normal reaction to living with abuse, power and control?” She touches on some normal mental and physical reactions such as depression, anxiety, panic attacks and headaches.
Welcome to the Video Series: When Love Hurts. In this video you will meet the authors – Jill Cory and Karen McAndless-Davis. Hear about the experiences that have brought them to this work, their passion for serving women who have been abused, and their vision for this series.
Karen McAndless-Davis talks about how difficult it is to even consider if you are experiencing abuse. She also touches on the different forms of abuse: emotional, verbal, social, financial etc. This video is designed particularly for women who have experienced abuse.
Sometimes men who are abusive take “Anger Management” courses. Women have reported to us that these programs do not seem to improve the dynamics in the relationship. This is because anger is not the problem with men who are abusive; their desire for power and control is the problem. An Anger Management course will try…
It is really hard to even consider if your partner might be abusive. A good question to ask is “am I afraid”? In a respectful, mutual relationship, two people can disagree – fight even – but neither party is afraid of being attacked (physically or emotionally).
Those of us who live in British Columbia have noticed a shift in the rulings of the courts over the past decade or so. It used to be that if parents separated, the children would end up spending the bulk of the time living with their moms. However, in British Columbia now, the starting assumption…