A woman’s guide to understanding abuse in relationships

What happens when you are hurt by a partner you love? Women have many questions about their relationship and their partner. We hope that you will find the answers here that you are looking for.

We wrote When Love Hurts to answer some questions and help women make sense of their relationship. Some common questions women ask:

“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading the wonderful book When Love Hurts. In these pages she will find the strength, validation, and insight she needs to reclaim her life and return it to its rightful owner – her.”

by Lundy Bancroft, Author of “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.”

“This is an excellent resource not only for women to use on their own but also for counselors and advocates.”

by Dr. Mary Russell Professor of Social Work, University of British Columbia, Canada

“I didn’t see myself as an abused woman. The only images I had came from television. I thought of abused women as weak, quiet and less educated – women who were battered and bruised. That wasn’t who I was at all. And my partner certainly didn’t fit my image of an abusive husband. I thought they were wild and out of control – men who drank too much, were brutal and hateful. My partner’s behaviour was confusing. I saw him being kind and pleasant to our friends and family. He was often loving to me, and I loved him. But he got angry so easily; and when he was angry, he was hurtful. Since his hurtful behaviour was always directed at me, I believed I was the cause of the abuse.”

– Maggie

“This book has changed my life – maybe even saved my life. It lifted the confusion that was paralyzing me and gave me new understanding and clarity. I am now on a path to getting my life back.”

– Alia

A young woman sits in an office chatting with a helping professional.

First do no harm

Research and frontline experiences have documented women’s narratives about how the dynamics of abuse are…

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