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Currently browsing Helpful Ideas for Women

Is he “mentally ill” or is he abusive?

Sometimes women think that their partner behaves the way he does because he is mentally ill. Abusive behaviour is so bizarre and unpredictable, it certainly makes sense if you wonder sometimes if you partner is mentally ill. If your partner is kind one moment and raging the next, how do you make sense of this? […]

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How can the person who said he loved me be abusive?

We would like to share some thoughts from one of the women from our Support Group. She is separated from her partner but he is working hard to try to honeymoon her back. She speaks honestly about separation, grief and rebuilding. We are appreciative of her sharing: Its almost impossible for me to get my […]

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Support Groups staring in the Vancouver Area

Every fall we start When Love Hurts support groups in the Vancouver area. If you know a woman who might appreciate the support and care of this group please give her the below info. The group is for any woman who has experienced any form of abuse (verbal, emotional, spiritual, social, sexual, physical etc.) There is […]

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A Word About Anger

Many women who have been abused are afraid of anger. This makes sense. Their partner’s anger has been very damaging to them. Sometimes women are not sure what to do about their own anger. It seems to me that anger can have many faces. Sometimes anger can be about protecting ourselves or someone else. If […]

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“Being fair” in a situation that is unfair is not fair

“‘Being fair’ in a situation that is unfair is not fair.” My 18 year old son said this to me in a conversation recently and I think it is very true. Often women who have been abused by their partners, after separation, are plagued by concerns about “being fair” to their ex. In a situation […]

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Self-care as opposed to self-esteem

I blogged yesterday about focusing on self-care instead of self-esteem. A woman from group recently talked to me about this. Her quote (used with permission) really says it all… “I liked how the group focused on self-care and not self-esteem. I was always judged for ‘letting’ the abuse happen to me because of my ‘low […]

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Guided Meditation with Karen

This gentle guided meditation is designed to help you calm your mind and relax your body. It is perfect to do before going to sleep. Please note, if you are in an unsafe situation – physically or emotionally, you should not do this guided meditation as you need to stay alert and vigilant but if […]

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Am I Abusive Too?

Sometimes women wonder and worry if they are abusive, like their partner. Abusive men, the police or other “helping professionals” sometimes tell women they are abusive. The idea that it “takes two to tango” is a predominant one in our culture. Maybe you have fought back, yelled at or hit your partner but it is important to ask yourself a few questions about the context in which you behaved that way and the motives behind your behaviour

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