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Currently browsing Helpful Ideas for Women

You can’t rationalize with an irrational person

Jill and I see women working very hard to communicate with their partners. Women try to explain themselves and be rational with their partners. But the problem is that their partners are abusive and abuse is not rational. Abuse is about power and control. It is about diminishing the other person and “winning” the argument. […]

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Abusive Men – Blame Shifting Ninjas

Abusive men have patterns to their behaviour. One of those patterns is that they tend to shift blame from themselves and on to others – particularly their partners. They hone their blame shifting skills to a very high level. For example, a man might blame his failure to live up to a responsibility (like picking […]

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“Forgive and Forget”?

Where does that expression “forgive and forget” come from and is it from the Bible? No! There is no place in the Bible where it says “forgive and forget”. I don’t know where the saying originates, but I can tell you with complete confidence, it does not come from the Bible. If you have experienced […]

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What is your ex saying about you?

I have worked for 18 years with women who have experienced abuse. In my experience, there are a few common things men who are abusive say about their ex-partners. Perhaps most commonly, they say the woman was “crazy”. They may even go so far as to say the woman was diagnosed as mentally ill (often “bipolar”) when […]

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Support Groups

We run “When Love Hurts” support groups in New Westminster, Langley, Coquitlam, Abbotsford, Mission and Chilliwack. If you would like more information about the support group, please email me at Karen@McAndless-Davis.com. Or phone me at 604-528-8042

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Warning Signs for Young Women

Warning Signs for Young Women Did you know that statistically a woman is far more likely to be physically injured by her partner than to be injured in a car accident? Now think about how much time and energy we put in to trying to keep young women safe on the road. They wear seat […]

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Warning Signs for Young Christian Women

Warning Signs for Young Women Did you know that abuse happens in Christian relationships at the same rate as non-Christian relationships? Sometimes young women think that if they date and marry a Christian man, he will be “safe” but that is not statistically true. Did you know that abuse takes many forms? Here are some […]

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What does the Bible really say about divorce?

Sometimes women are told things like “divorce is not an option for Christians,” or “God hates divorce.” There are passages of scripture that at first glance seem to suggest that divorce is not a path open to women of faith. These passages need to be looked at carefully and within their historic context. It is […]

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It is not about forgiveness when everything is broken

A woman shared these thoughts about forgiveness in the context of abuse. I would like to share them with you. My husband has been abusive to me for years. His behaviour has caused unimaginable destruction in my life. Every once in a while, he will say, “I’m sorry. Forgive me.” Those words seem ridiculous to me. […]

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Light in the Dark

December is the darkest month of the year in Canada. Where I live, it starts getting dark at about 4:00 in the afternoon. It can be depressing and discouraging. A doctor friend of my joked that this time of year, we should put anti-depressants in the water like some cities put flouride in the water. […]

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When Love Hurts