Jill and I have led groups in diverse neighbourhoods and with women from diverse social and cultural backgrounds for many years. There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to abuse. People assume that abuse happens to certain types of women and not too other women. Nothing can be further from the truth. Abuse…
Sometimes women will say they believe their partner behaves the way he does because he has mental health concerns. Men who are abusive are sometimes diagnosed as having a personality disorder or of being bipolar. Men who are abusive may blame their hurtful behaviour on being depressed. This is very confusing for women; if their…
Sometimes friends and family give women, who have experienced abuse, ultimatums. For example, “If you move back in with him, I won’t talk to you anymore.” Often when friends and family do this, they think that they are doing some version of “tough love”. Perhaps they are not doing a good job of managing their…
Stockholm Syndrome was coined 40 years ago at the end of a six-day bank siege in Stockholm, Sweden. Sometimes women who are experiencing abuse from their partner wonder if they are experiencing Stockholm Syndrome because they feel a certain alliance with their partner. They may also be worried about their partner and care about what…
Sometimes women impacted by abuse wonder if their expectations are too high. In our experience this is not true. Rather, it seems that over time, abuse lowers a woman’s expectations. For example, she starts out expecting that her partner will respect her feelings but over time he does not and so she gradually lets go…
We had been married 15 years. Things had been very hard for a long time. I knew there was something really wrong but I did not know what it was. I did what I think most women would do, I sought out couple’s counselling for us. I went to couple’s counselling hoping it would make…
In 2016 Danielle Smith, with Newstalk 770 on the AM dial, interviewed us about our 3rd edition…
The When Love Hurts team was recently on What She Said and we had a great time with Kate Wheeler…
Our interview with Allison Dore and Arthur Simeon on Ward and Al…
Have you ever thought, “if I could just say the ‘right’ thing to my partner, then he would finally ‘get it’, understand and change?” Have you ever wondered if somehow you could make your relationship better if you just had the right combination of words… or tone of voice… or proper explanation? Abusive men often…
If asked, most counsellors will say that they have training in abuse but it is not part of the standard curriculum for most counselling programs. So, how can you figure out if your counsellor really does understand abuse or simply thinks they understand? Here are a few things you could look for: Do they hold…
I just heard a great interview with Marie Corbett on CBC radio. She was a judge who felt powerless and so she retired in the hopes of bringing about change from outside the system. That is pretty remarkable – for a judge to feel powerless. Where does that leave one, individual woman, seeking justice in…