How can you be a good support to a woman who has experienced abuse?
#2 Let the woman be the expert on her own life. She knows more about herself, her partner and her children than you ever will. You can support her but you should not take over her decision making process. Rather, you can help her listen to her gut and figure out what is going to be best or safest for her. Too often friends, family or professionals try to tell the woman what to do and sometimes even threaten to withdraw support if the woman does not do what she is told. If you do this, you have become like her partner – a bully.
I had one of those. Was sure that one of the examples he gave to justify his abuse was post partum depression. My counselor was sure it was. She would not believe me who had gone through it, and did L&D for a living so knew my stuff, that it wasn’t, it was made up history on his part. And she got so angry at me when I filed for divorce. She became a bully and I had to separate my self from her help.
I am SO sorry to hear that! That is awful! It is a huge abuse of power when a professional becomes a bully. It sounds like you were courageous and wise to separate yourself from her. Thank you for share part of your story. It will help other women.