Love is meant to be supportive
What happens when you are hurt by the one you love? Women have many questions about their relationship and are discouraged by the lack of support and information they receive from family and friends.
“This is an excellent resource not only for women to use on their own but also for counselors and advocates.”by Dr. Mary Russell Professor of Social Work, University of British Columbia, Canada
We wrote When Love Hurts to answer some questions and help women make sense of their relationship. Some common questions women ask:
Am I experiencing abuse?
Why does my partner hurt me?
Why do I stay?
Will my children be abusive?
Is there something wrong with me?
How do I heal from the abuse?
I didn’t see myself as an abused woman. The only images I had came from television. I thought of abused women as weak, quiet and less educated – women who were battered and bruised. That wasn’t who I was at all. And my partner certainly didn’t fit my image of an abusive husband. I thought they were wild and out of control – men who drank too much, were brutal and hateful. My partner’s behaviour was confusing. I saw him being kind and pleasant to our friends and family. He was often loving to me, and I loved him. But he got angry so easily; and when he was angry, he was hurtful. Since his hurtful behaviour was always directed at me, I believed I was the cause of the abuse. Maggie.
Have you ever thought, “if I could just say the ‘right’ thing to my partner, then he would finally ‘get it’, understand and change?” Have you ever wondered if somehow you could make your relationship better if you just had the right combination of words… or tone of voice… or proper explanation? Abusive men often […]
If asked, most counsellors will say that they have training in abuse but it is not part of the standard curriculum for most counselling programs. So, how can you figure out if your counsellor really does understand abuse or simply thinks they understand? Here are a few things you could look for: Do they hold […]
I just heard a great interview with Marie Corbett on CBC radio. She was a judge who felt powerless and so she retired in the hopes of bringing about change from outside the system. That is pretty remarkable – for a judge to feel powerless. Where does that leave one, individual woman, seeking justice in […]
In Early July I sat down via skype with Quyn Lê Erichsen from BBS Radio to talk about the third edition of our book...
Our society believes that if you are being abused by your partner, you should leave – right away. But this is not women’s experience. Leaving a relationship, where there has been abuse, is practically and emotionally very complex. There is no “easy” solution when it comes to abuse. Whether you are living with your partner […]
Join Karen and I for our upcoming 'When Love Hurts' workshop in June...